I remember a line from the play Inherit the Wind. I can't quote exactly but it was basically something like this - It was you who has moved away, by standing still. There is depth in its simplicity. What an elegant way of talking about change and people?
So, I'm spending a weekend at my sister-in-law's place here in Oklahoma. It has been 3 years since I have visited and apart from the few added pieces of decorative furniture and the renovation of the kitchen with new appliances (wear and tear maintenance) nothing much has changed. Everything is orderly, like it has been planned for display. A stark contrast to my home that is the ultimate symbol of disarray and disorder.
I think about change. I haven't changed much in these past few years either. Or have I? While I held to the thought of constancy, relaxing at my sister-in-law's home doing nothing, she invited me to the television one evening. Change. There it is. My sister-in-law loves watching Pakistani dramas and Bollywood movies. Myself on the other hand, have kind of moved on. So, there I am being invited to watch a Bollywood movie with her. My husband will tell you that I'm not much of a movie person. I prefer to just chill and do nothing. She invited me. I guess she felt I would like it. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't want to really but it wasn't so bad. She turned on the movie Dilwale. She told me Shah Rukh Khan was in it. The first sign of change within myself. I wasn't super excited. I was curious but not my old self. My old self would have jumped up and asked if there were any other SRK movies I missed. I used to be in love with the man. Stardom got me. I usually say that stars are humans too and we shouldn't "worship" them and yet I was falling to the fan craze of SRK. That was my past. I think, somewhere, I grew up. SRK became intrigue but not desire.
So, I watched the movie. The story line I felt was a bit weak. It had its twists and turns but it was all contrived. Was it contrived or was I just noticing it now that I was growing up and looking at SRK objectively? I sat there and finished the movie. I was more amazed at myself and how far I had come. Somewhere, the Bollywood movies stood still and I had moved away.
My time in Oklahoma was very similar to my other times there. My sister-in-law made me my favorite meals, had my favorite ice cream, Dove bar and it was just quiet and peaceful. In those aspects, I guess I was still the same also. I drank a lot of tea with my sister-in-law but I had been doing Teavana and other specialty teas that somewhere I noticed I had after all changed.
What's to say what change really is? Maybe it's sitting for a couple of hours finishing up a page of my coloring book. Something I have never done at Oklahoma before. There's Pokemon Go also. Interesting thing about the game. There aren't many Poke Stops and it's feels very Pokemon unfriendly and yet the gyms are filled with players who have a mid 30s rating with 2.9K Dragonites. Where are these players getting so strong? Maybe there's a major Poke stop location for the gamers? Like the zoo or the wild bird sanctuary of St. Louis? So, last time I was in Oklahoma, there was no such thing as Pokemon Go and now their Poke gyms were stronger than our gyms here. I cannot talk about change there. Pokemon is a new thing. Perhaps when I return, I can compare.
Then there's the L word. Love. My sister in law and my nieces did everything in their power to make me happy. When it comes to family, there is a unit that cannot be penetrated. Where their love is so tight, one can just watch with appreciation. I saw that love between my nieces and between my sister-in-law and her children. After all, why not? There were the family and I was the observer trying to make my own memories with them to try to create a mark. Had something changed? Or had I changed and noticed more? Or was it the change in the growth of the nieces?
I remember my first day of Dental School. The only certainty in life is change. I take solace in that. Change is a wonderful thing. After all, we are in the season that reminds one of that same change and renewal.
So, whether I have stayed still or moved away, I look back at change and I smile. I feel in some strange way that I have come far. Very far. And I don't want to return.
Best to you all,
TTR
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