Sunday, May 13, 2018

Thoughts on Mother's Day

Mother's Day is almost over and I've been musing about this post.  I want to write something, but what?  I thought, I could start with the definition of "mother", but then in reality, I unfortunately do not know that definition.  I know it from one side of the story - watching and learning from my own mother.  The other side would be the true understanding of motherhood that only comes from being a mom.  I think in my life, I've gotten micro slices of that feeling of intense love that fills your senses and takes away all common sense where a child could have you wrapped around their little finger and play you like a violin.  I've seen that happen also and have watched mothers be oblivious to the power yielded by their little monsters.  Alas, am I straying off course?  Maybe.  Maybe not.
Today, on Facebook I saw a post from a mom advising other moms to "milk it" for today anything was fair game.  I personally, felt bad for that mom.  I thought about the moms who might have felt the need to "milk it".  It's like they give their whole life and sacrifice and deal with the crap of the wonderful nature of motherhood and they get what in return?  A day!  Out of 365 days, they get ONE day.  My mom always said that everyday was Mother's Day and that's what I feel.  A mother is more deserving of being special everyday and it's almost an insult to give her one day.  One measly day.  It's like saying, I love you and I appreciate you and I'll take the time and effort on this day.  The other days, well, don't expect much.  It's not mother's day and we did all that stuff for mother's day so get over it!!!
My niece asked me this morning if I wished my mom a happy Mother's Day.  I told her I'll get to it.  And then after going around and running errands, I went to visit my mom.  I don't know if I did it for mother's day or if I just wanted to go visit with her.  No.  I think I went because I felt obligated for Mother's Day and the sad part of it is that I almost feel like it absolves me of my duties as a daughter because I took the time and effort to go visit her on Mother's day.  If she calls, I can always say, hey, I visited on Mother's Day so don't complain.  See, my mom would tell me off and tell me that there is no such thing as Mother's day and the fact I visited her on Mother's Day doesn't count.  Everyday should be just as special.  I guess that's why I didn't send her flowers or do anything different.
For those of you who think that I'm a horrible daughter for not doing something out of this world on Mother's Day, well, you are entitled to your opinions.  My mother, has done more for me, than I could ever hope to do for her, even if I spent everyday and treated it as a special day for her.  Ya.  That's a mother.  My mom has worried about me and still worries about me when I get sick.  She's the only one who prays for me and wishes for my health, happiness and success.  I won't say I have the best mom in the world.  I think my mom is far from perfect and to live thinking that she's infallible is an error.  She has, however, despite her mistakes, always wanted and hoped for what was best for me.  Even if I didn't agree with her, she hoped and did what she felt was the right choice for me.  So, that's mom.  She's hilarious, crazy, smart, silly, caring, loving, the best cook and everything else.  Doesn't she deserve more than a day?
Alright.  Rant over.  Go on about your own business.

Saturday, May 12, 2018

Influenza B changes your life perspective

I don't know where I got the flu from.  Before you ask me about the flu shot, let me just tell you that I did not do it.  This is not about a "serves you right" post.  I have never had the flu shot and for years I've had flu like symptoms but never the full blown flu.  Well, I guess you live and learn.
What does the flu feel like?  I couldn't walk.  I couldn't talk.  I couldn't sit up in bed for longer than an hour.  I was too exhausted to brush my teeth.  Being a dentist, that was something that hit me.  Way back in the days of my residency, with kids in the hospital, the last thing that would be taken care of would be the brushing of teeth.  Now, I understand.  I was too groggy and confused to think about standing and brushing for a good 2 mins.  I'm also asthmatic and the flu triggered my asthma and so I wasn't breathing well either.  My muscles hurt and spasmed randomly.  Oh yeah.  I couldn't hold down food.  I even threw up a sip of gatorade.  All of this and coughing lead to a headache also.  Basically, I wasn't a happy camper.
All I'll say is that there are a lot of things we take for granted everyday.  The ability to breathe normally is something that I still don't have, a week later.  I think about having the energy to walk normally and just enjoy the weather outside.  I think that's life.  We don't see what we have until it's taken away.  A lot of times I'm thinking about material things I want - a new Kindle for instance.  Wanting puts me at a position of not having.  After having the flu, I want nothing more than my health.  Having all systems working normally is a gift indeed.
I'm not saying we shouldn't shoot for the stars with our goals or that we shouldn't want.  I just feel that we don't recognize what we have so readily as our focus is not on what we have but what we don't have.  A little gratitude goes a long way.
Here's hoping your lives are filled with plenty and you have no want.
Wishing you all the best in health and happiness,

The Travel Conundrum

I've heard people say that I'm well travelled.  I disagree, but that's not the point of this post at all.  Or maybe it is.  Hear me out.  I enjoy traveling and getting to experience new cultures and new worlds.  It's just fascinating.  On my last trip to Portugal, I had a fabulous time navigating the narrow cobblestone streets, but yet, I find myself thinking about the beach.  I think about lounging all day, reading a book, or writing and doing absolutely nothing.  Two very different prospects of travel.  For the past few years, my husband and I have been doing the all-inclusive adults only chain of Sandals.  It started with our honeymoon.  I remember it clearly.  Brad said to me, "we should come back here!".  I replied with "Here?  Here as in another Sandals or here as in here, this place, this same resort."  He said, "This same resort."  I told him that there were so many other resorts to explore, so many other islands to explore, even in the Sandals chain.  We could stick to the chain, I told him, but we should really try the others.  That was 5 years ago.
Today I find myself waiting for a Sandals vacation.  My mind will skip past fantastical vacations I've scheduled, waiting to return back to Sandals and back to the beach.  Yet, I plan future non-beach vacations also. So many places to visit.  I mean, countries.  If you've visited parts of a country, should you return to other parts of the same country?  Is that repeating?  Or should I just try a different country because part of travel is about new and exciting?  Is it about getting a notch on your belt?
As I get older and find myself wanting to be at the beach and as I discuss with my husband about the one Sandals resort we want to continue to keep returning to every year, I think about vacations and travel.  I've heard people criticize me about going back to the Caribbean over and over.  I've heard comments about why Sandals, over and over.  I wonder if at 45 years, peer pressure is still getting to me or should I just do what I damn well please?
There is comfort in the familiar and yet there's excitement in the new.  I would say, familiar to me would be Sandals - a resort chain that has been tried and tested for us.  Recently, we were at Puerto Vallarta at one of the Vidanta resorts - The Grand Bliss.  It wasn't all inclusive and while the resort was large and the room was fabulous, it was next to impossible to find a beach chair.  Yes, we took long walks along the beach and we had a tamarindo daiquiri, which we hadn't had at any other resort, but the resort was too large for my taste.
I return back home and get online to check the deals at a Sandals.  Yet, there's a part of me that wonders if I want to go back to a Viking river cruise.  I think to myself that it was rush, rush, rush and a lot of bus travel but then again, we got to see a lot in a short time.  Sure we didn't have time to breathe or take it all in, but hey, it was a great way to get a sampling of the cities we visited.  I can always argue that we love the hop on hop off bus tour in the cities we visit.  Isn't that a bus tour and isn't that a slice of the city in a short time?
The other grand travel factor is of course the F word - finances.  The places and trips that I have my eyes on, do not sit well with my wallet.  So, it's a factor of actually saving money, a little every month to be able to experience the unique, in a relaxing setting.  The time factor is critical as well.  I'm not retired yet.  Far from it.  Owning my own practice gives me the freedom to take time off as I choose, but it also limits me in that I don't get paid when I take time off.  So, there's only so long I can be gone before the office needs me to make an income and take care of the little pesky things called bills.
I took a travel test a couple of months ago on Facebook.  It recommended my top places to visit as Banff and Iceland!  Maybe I won't be walking along the beach there, but the hiking and canoeing can be quite relaxing.  I remember canoeing in Alaska.  We were on a small ship cruise (max 36 passengers) with Fantasy Cruises.  The canoe was part of the trip and couple of days we were on the canoe and they pretty much let us canoe for as long as we wanted.  So, we canoed for almost 2 hours watching the bald eagles above us.  It wasn't the beach, but it was peaceful and ultimately I think when it comes to travel, I just want my mind to clear and to connect with nature and forget the world that I've left behind briefly.
So, maybe it doesn't have to always be the beach.  Maybe, if finances allowed, time to rejuvenate my soul may just be my most valuable asset, wherever that might be, in whatever country that might be.  It is a blessing to look at the mirror and live an honest life.  A life of your choosing.  Not one that is riddled by the comparisons that we frequently find ourselves fighting.
Wishing you all a well travelled and well experienced life of your dreams.
Best to you all,