Downton Abbey

Yes.  Old news for a lot of people, but not so for me.  See, I have been following TV series titles through osmosis.  I hear names like The Walking Dead or Grey's Anatomy or Orange is the New Black or Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad or something else.  The funny thing is this.  The names are different but the reaction they invoke are the same.  The viewers are all obsessed.  From an outsider point of view, I would say, it's a drug.  I feel it changes people and how they behave with themselves and with you.  I have been an outsider in most cases because I haven't been a TV type of person.  I'm getting there but we'll get to that.
I'm used to try to understand the fuss.  When someone asked about a show, I would respond with, "Oh, I haven't seen that one," and their response would almost always be, "Oh, it's soooo good.  You should watch it.  It's amazing!"  Yes, the word "so" is extended for a good 2 and a half seconds.  I know when it came to Breaking Bad my brother even offered to buy me Netflix so I could watch it.  I remember thinking, what was going on?  Why are people going crazy?  Is this some disease that infests the mind?
I didn't used to watch TV.  The last time I was vested in a show was in the late 1990s.  My shows:  Lois and Clark, the New Adventures of Superman and Caroline in the City.  My luck:  4 seasons and 2 seasons respectively and then the show was done.  Also, my life was very different then.  I was married to someone who didn't watch the usual series and for some reason I never did either.  I don't know if it was the marriage or me, but irrespective, after my divorce, I was left at home with a TV that I did not turn on and soon forgot how to operate.
I remember the evening I invited family to my home and I was the host, so obviously, busy making sure the food was ready and all that jazz.  Well, in between running around and figuring out what pot was on the stove and what was in the oven, I get called by my family.  They wanted to watch some tennis match.  I gave them a blank stare.  They explained to me that they wanted to watch ESPN.  Someone asked what channel ESPN was on and someone was asking how to get cable and I think someone asked me which remote was which.  I looked at the 3 remote controls resting on the coffee table and handed all the remotes over to one of my family members.  I said, "Here you go.  I have no idea which remote is which.  I think one is for TV and one for cable.  I think that red button turns on the TV.  I don't know much else."  I remember one of my cousins looking at me like he didn't understand the joke.  "But how do we get to ESPN?"  I felt my mind would explode.  How do I explain to them that I was busy cooking and that I did not have any idea.  "I do not know.  The last time I turned on the TV was several months ago and I was watching a DVD.  I do not watch TV at all."  The next question was "What do you mean, at all?"  I shook my head and said almost annoyed and abruptly, "I mean, I do not watch TV.  I have not watched TV for a few years.  I only watch DVDs and control what I watch on my time and my terms.  I know I have cable not satellite.  I don't know why I have it, but I do.  That's all I know.  You'll have to figure it all out between the remotes!"  With that, I left back to the kitchen.  Why was it so incredulous that someone doesn't watch television?
I think I have grown a bit since then.  I have learned to accept that everyone has their own thrills and obsessions.  Watching tennis might not have been mine at that time.  It might or might not have been a good idea.  That's irrespective.  I think we all have our hot buttons of items we love and make us whole whether it's a sport or a TV show or a celebrity or a hobby.  To each their own.
It took a few years after that for me to change and understand people's obsession; TV shows especially.  I remember my cousins were trying to get me hooked onto something but one of the shows I tried to watch with them was far too superficial for me.  The next show Parenthood was actual quite good.  I wanted to watch it from the beginning but that was around the time I met Brad, the man who would be my husband.
Right from the beginning, the one thing about our relationship that was so different from any other relationship I had been in or wanted to be in was the TV.  Big Bang Theory was the first show he introduced me to.  I loved it.  I was surprised.  When I told him that I had tried other shows but couldn't really get into them, he told me that I just hadn't been introduced to the right shows.  Perhaps!  I soon caught up with all the episodes and I'm current with that show.  I would have never in a million years have guessed that the person current on a show would be myself.
Over time, a few years, it's become a habit.  We watch one or a few episodes (depending on time) before bed.  It's our ritual now.  I told Brad that I wanted to catch up on the old but famous shows, if that's even possible.  Through the past few years, we have finished  Eureka, and watched most episodes of Sherlock Holmes (The Jeremy Brett version), and Cheers.  Without Netflix (I haven't jumped on that band wagon yet) we are currently restricted to Amazon Prime but there's quite a few that I want to watch on Prime before I embark onto Netflix.  After Cheers  (despite not watching season 10 and 11 due to not having it on Prime) we moved on to and finished Sex and the City.  
Over Thanksgiving break we had the task of picking our new Amazon Prime show.  I told my husband that I would like to try Downton Abbey.  I said that I had vaguely remembered friends on FB talking about it or looking forward to it or that people were obsessed with it.  Prime had the show so we started Thanksgiving weekend.
A couple of days ago, we watched the last episode of Season Two.  My heart just went crashing a million times and over.  I did not think I would make it.  The next morning was an early day at work but I couldn't get sleep after watching that last episode.  I felt like I could never be myself again and then it hit me.  All the times that people told me about a show and how I would watch them lose themselves.  Why did they prefer conversation with an acquaintance about a show instead of me?  Why was not understanding this show putting a wedge in our friendship?  Answer:  The show was their life.  It's a gene that splices into their DNA and they will never be the same again.  Downton Abbey has done that to me and now I finally comprehend.
I'm on Season 3, episode 2 and the issues that will plague this season are well set up.  I'm glad I'm doing this.  Really glad.
Don't want to prolong this post, but thank you for reading.  I sincerely apologize for all the times I rolled my eyes at you over a TV show.  Ha ha.  I get it now.  Better late than never, right?
Best to you all.
TTR

Resolutions of a space cadet

I'm told my oldest niece is just like me.  Apparently, she likes everything I like and follows in my footsteps.  Oh dear God!  I hope that's not true, because I'm a space cadet.  I can never get things done.  I start projects and leave them half way.  I waste a lot of time staring into dead space (if I have the time).  My schedule is overflowing that I don't know if I'm coming or going half the time.  So, do I hope my niece is like me?  I most certainly hope not.  I hope she has a good head on her shoulders.

I know she wants to write a book.  Well, my book is sitting there.  Somewhere.  Space cadet here just jumped from writing a book to knitting to writing a play to coloring to writing a blog, and let's not forget my HMS model that's sitting and waiting patiently for me to show up.  So, I have been thinking about myself and how to resolve my "spaciness".  I had a cousin tell me to make a to-do list and the thing is that I don't like getting confined by lists.  They are effective, but I just don't like them.  So, I hope my niece uses lists and can handle them.  There's gotta be some hope for her.  I look at myself and wonder how I got the way I did.  Well, I don't know.  Years of craziness, I suppose.

Did I digress?  What else is new?  Back to to-do lists - I was recently told that if I kept my lists super short, then I can accomplish more and still feel like I'm moving forward without being overwhelmed.  This might work.  The past week I've made micro lists.  Just one or two things on my list and I feel great to strike them off.  No more long lists that I stare at and feel like my world is spinning out of orbit, out of control.  I suppose, I sincerely want to make a change in my life; with this blog and with my writing.  I have had time to think about this over the weekend.  I want to blog more.  I want to work on my book.  I want to finish my play.  That's a lot of "want".  I thought that I would wait 'til New Year's to make a resolution.  But then I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.  If there's something that needs to be done, it needs to be done now.  So, I have a new resolution - to just go out and do it, little at a time.  Let's see how this space cadet fares with that.
My schedule has been crazy all the way up to this past weekend. I thought I would start my baby steps yet again  (I've tried before and failed) but sometimes, you just have to try over and over and over.  Right?  So, I did.  Baby step number one:  I have a Facebook page for this blog.  I'm so impressed at doing that.  For a lot of you, it may seem like nothing.  For me, it's a big step.  I had to do the research on how to get a FB blog page that says "Personal blog" because it's not intuitive.  I stuck with it and got it done.
Maybe now I can make monthly personal resolutions and check my progress.  Will I complete anything?  Anything at all?  I don't know.  But we'll see.  This space cadet is lost but I feel, I'm getting found.  Space cadets are constantly shifting and constantly on unknown missions.  A year ago, I was working on a totally different book.  Wrote everyday.  Then every other and then it dwindled to once in 2 weeks to now, can't recollect when I last wrote about it.  I can't recollect the word count when I stopped.  Stuff got in the way.  I need to turn off and empty my schedule so I can put things that matter.  So, slowly but surely, I'm starting to say "no".  I getting back to being in my terrible 2s.  Am I moving forwards or backwards?  We'll see.  Here's to a new resolution and to a new me!

Hope you all are well and catch you all soon.

TTR

The end of an era

Today is Thanksgiving Day 2016 and I'm sitting at home in my PJs, on my computer, in between household tasks of cleaning and laundry.  Sudden flashes of memory distract me.  A distant crackle of laughter.  Family saying hello.  Literal flashes from the camera as I stand with my cousins to capture the memories.  The kitchen filled with warmth and love and food.  My aunt and our helper Zumra buzzing about trying to get everything ready and set to serve.  More guest.  More hellos.  A home filled with love, happiness, family and warmth.  It didn't matter if one stood in the kitchen with all the noise and clanking of dishes or if one stood to the side.  The air was filled with a feeling.  The feeling of togetherness, love and family.  Of course, I could be standing there and watching this and there would be yet another interruption.  When are we playing games?  Of course, it wouldn't be my family if that question didn't come up.  There would be whines of, "not now" and there would be, "Let's get started.  Everyone come on.  Sit down.", "what are we playing?", "not that again!" and of course there would be, "where's the tea?"  Yes, it would be a hodgepodge.  My favorite is "Hold my space, I'm coming." and of course 30 minutes later we are still waiting.  Alas, a beep distracts me.  I had travelled into a memory from Thanksgivings before.  I'm not there now.  I'm still in my PJs at home.  The beep means the laundry is done.
It feels strange.  Very strange.  This will be my first Thanksgiving alone.  We all have gone our separate ways.  My aunt moved to San Diego.  A friend here had her dog spayed so we couldn't really do a party there.  I've been too busy.  I've craved time on my own.  My parents figured it would be good to take some time off by themselves.  I think 2 of my cousins are getting together and my other cousin will spend Thanksgiving with her married family.  My niece went back home to Oklahoma.  What can I say?  She might have been the only person who could have convinced me to have Thanksgiving at my home but with her not being in town, that leaves me here, alone to my thoughts.
I think about the past and change.  I know I've written about it.  This is a big one.
I don't remember the first year we formally did Thanksgiving.  I know it was a long time ago.  I know I was invited and no one else.  Then the next year the whole family was invited.  There was only one turkey.  It was not enough.  The years after it has been 2 turkeys to feed the whole family of about 30 of us.  We went through a phase of people not wanting turkey.  Somewhere, someone felt we were more "Indian" and we should do "Indian food".  I remember thinking, "screw them!"  I was angry then.  I couldn't understand how ungrateful some of us were.  The effort it took to put on a full Thanksgiving meal was met with "why Turkey?" "Why don't you do biryani?" and if my memory serves me right, one Thanksgiving someone brought an "Indian dish" or maybe I can't remember.  We went through that phase.  There's always the process of growth.
Now, like a flower that grows from a bud to full bloom and its petals wither away, our family Thanksgiving tradition has withered away.  That is life.
This kind of change is not new to me although I feel this one the most acutely.  I remember growing up in India and going to my grandparent's home.  They lived in a mansion (I didn't know it then) and had groves of mango trees.  I remember my cousins and I would walk around the mansion and talk like only little girls could about things we thought were life changing.  I smile and reminisce about those days.  Here I am almost 35 years later.  My grandparents had passed away in my teens and the mansion was torn down and an apartment complex was built in its place with the remaining children getting their share of an apartment.  I still have trouble fathoming that.  Why couldn't they declare the building as a historic site and renovate for tours?  I guess, that's the American in me.  Or maybe I want to preserve a slice of an era.  Regardless, that building went down and it was the end of an era for me.
Now, today, it's the end of another.  What will life hold in the future?  How many more eras will end and how many more will begin?  I don't know.  I, for one, will be grateful for being here and being able to see all this change.  And of course, I'm grateful for the memories.
Best wishes all, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving,
TTR

My husband, the singer!

Here's my husband singing one of his favorite songs.  It all started with Facebook memories.  There was a memory from 2 years ago with him singing a song from My Fair Lady.  I shared the post and that lead to a friend of mine in Oklahoma, making a request for him to sing "Beyond the sea".  Brad prepared for the song for over a week and finally I posted it and tagged my friend on it.  That started my husband wanting to sing more.  So, he picked this one.

Into the West from Lord of the Rings:  Return of the King.  Here's his version of it.

I really like this song.  It's very soulful and makes one pensive.  I tried to download straight from the iCloud but blogger has a 100MB limit so I had to download only YouTube and deal with all the technological constraints to post this video, but hope you all enjoy it!

TTR

Tea, tea cups and more

Blogging is a process.  I wish it was as simple as write and click the "publish" button.  I think I have done that too, but on re-reads, I think about all the edits I should have made.  Over time, I have come to write a blog, over several days.  Emotions change in time and what started the blog may seem irrelevant at the end, but it is what it is.  As a writer, I have to figure out a way to make it all gel.  This is such a blog.  It started a couple of weeks ago.  Have at it...

Does one dedicate a whole post to the topic of tea?  When my niece asked me this weekend, "Aunty?  How much tea is too much to drink?" I thought to myself that it was absolutely appropriate to write a post on tea.  The tea drinkers in my audience know my answer to my niece's question, but for those of you who don't know, I'll enlighten you.  Answer:  No one knows.  It's never been done before!

One of cousins, a few years ago, once commented that tea tasted like hot chocolate!  My other cousin at the wedding told me about her tea with loads of fresh mint and ginger.  She pretty much was a purist.  She refused to try anything other than what she made.  My other cousin argued at the wedding that the tea (which was perfect to me) lacked ginger and had a lot of cardamon.  What's the right way to make tea?  Now that is a deeply personal topic.  Yes, that's tea for you.  So, I thought I would explore my relationship with this plant.

Here I am a few days later, at the Columbus airport, thinking about catching up on my blogs.  I thought I would write a new blog - about tea cups and then I log on to see this post still in draft form. Yes, I would say tea is an important part of my life and my travels.  It all comes back to tea!

While most people have a very personal relationship with tea, I feel I have my own thoughts about this.  I'm not as picky as some.  I'm sure people would not classify me as a tea enthusiast for after all, a tea enthusiast likes his/her tea a certain way and there are no other options for them.  The "my way or the highway" tea enthusiasts.  I'm more of an "any thing goes as long as it's tea" person.  So, I'll try different flavors.  I'll try them with cream, without cream, with sugar, with honey.  I like my tea sweet so that makes me a bit picky about my tea, but I feel my eccentricity comes from the tea cup.  I love tea cups and I love to have different teas in different cups depending on my mood.  It's really a process.

As you can see in the picture on the right, that's my tea center at home.  Do I have enough cups?  Well, my cupboards are filled with cups also.  I need to figure out a rotation pattern, but anyway, drinking tea is an experience.  There are stages to it.  First step, what flavor?  I do a lot of Teavana and I love their Earl Grey Creme.  I call it "Earl Grey on steroids!"  Yep.  That good!

Step 2:  I would look at my cups; as you can see my shelves are overflowing.  I will think about what cup I feel like and if that cup would be a good choice for the flavor of tea I have picked.  I can't have enough cups.
Step 3:  Brew the tea and watch the tea maker do its job.  I don't watch most days.  When I first received the tea maker as a wedding gift, I would love to just stand and watch it, but now, I trust the process.
Step 4:  Sweeten with honey.
Step 5:  Drink.  Mostly I drink while watching TV with my husband.  I also make tea and drink mostly when I'm typing up blogs or writing my play or just anything on the computer.

Recently I went to Disney World and I wanted a set of Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Pluto and Goofy mugs.  Well, they didn't have Daisy.  The set was not complete.  The mugs were so cute though.  I thought that I would regret not buying these mugs when I was there.  I don't know.  I do and I do not.  I like the color choices on these, but it is what it is.  I took these pictures and texted my husband.  "What do you think?" I asked him.  He liked them.  He texted back that we did not have the space.  He said that we had enough mugs already.  Ahhh.  I hate when he's right.  I texted letting him know that I really liked them a lot.
OH and then I also found these other mugs.

The Mickey/Minnie set on the right.  Now, I was caught in a total web of wanting it all.  Finally I get the text from my husband and he says, fine, buy them all.  As luck would have it, after all that, I did not have the time to buy the 5 character cups.  We were running majorly late for our dinner reservation.  So, I just bought the matching Mickey/Minnie cups.  Don't you think they are adorable?

When my husband saw them last night, he said, "Oh!  His and Her mugs!"  I guess this picture I texted didn't bring home the message.  Seeing them in person was a different experience I guess.  Yep!  And this morning, he had tea in the Mickey mug.  Oh!  I will drink out of Mickey too, when the tea is right and my mood is perfect.  But for now, I have these 2 guys gracing my little tea center in my home.

So, did I mention I am writing this post from the Columbus airport.  My usual habit when I'm in an airport - coffee.  Don't judge.  Starbuck's tall white choc. mocha is more of a habit.  It's like I buy it just because.  And what prompts this post?

Starbucks has a line of cups with cities and states on it.  They look super cute.  I've been eyeing them for over a year now, since Starbucks released the issue.  Every time I'm at an airport and at a starbucks, I look at the cup and think if I should start my Starbucks city/state collection.  A voice in my head says, "It's not too late!" and another voice says, "No room.  There's no way!" and today a voice said something different.  "How about take a picture of the cup?"  Hmmm.  Not a bad idea, but then somehow, I feel I have moved on.  Maybe.  Just maybe I have moved on.  Who knows?  My next stop in Kansas City and a Starbucks there will have me re-thinking the Starbucks cup collection yet again.

I can't have the cups.  I can, but I can't!  You understand?  I'm not completely for the picture idea either.  So, here I am blogging about it.  And in the process I'm able to finish my original post about tea.  There's no wrong answer when it comes to tea.  The only wrong answer is if someone says no!

I will end with my lecture at Kansas City.  As I was walking down the aisle of the lecture hall to set up, I saw a student carrying a super cute tea mug.  I turned around.  Trying to get a view at this mug, as she was departing and several students were flooding in.  I finally got a glimpse.  It was "the" starbucks mug, for the collection I wanted to start.  It had New Mexico, written on it.  I smiled.  I was going to visit New Mexico next March.  Was the Universe trying to say something to me?

For now, I'm back home.  Trying to edit a blog and decide on what tea to make.  Hope your weekend is great!

TTR

In my underwear, in public, looking beautiful...

Hello everyone,
Those of you who know me are probably thinking, "wtf?!?"  Well, let me explain.  This past weekend was my cousin's wedding.  Not any cousin.  This is someone who has been close to me forever.  So, I had to look great.  Well, I didn't really plan to go to a salon to get my hair done and it was my sister-in-law who convinced me that I should get my hair done, for the 2 big events.  Well, if you know anything about Desi weddings, it's jam packed.  Activity after activity after activity.  It's basically like this:  get ready (make-up, clothing, hair, jewelry), go to event, eat/socialize, drive home in a hurry and redo it with different clothes etc and repeat over and over and over for the weekend.  Well, if hair is at a salon, I had some logistics to consider.
If I were at home, I could get dressed and then do my hair and makeup.  At a salon, I had to wear my elaborate decorative clothes and then get hair done and come home to do make up.  Well, after the events of the morning, my sister-in-law and I drove straight to the salon.  We were 10 minutes late.  We had to change to our next outfits.  Well, my outfit was a sharara (a blouse and a long skirt).  Running late and all, I just put the blouse on, and kept my pyjama pants on from the last outfit.  It looked horrible.  I felt like I was in my underwear.  No one wears just their pyjama pants outside their own bedroom.  It's meant to be covered by the khameez.  But I didn't have a choice.  I thought about it.  My blouse covered my top and my beige pyjama pants didn't really show anything.  Just looked like I was in my underwear in public.  You know what?  I thought, screw this.  I had to be at a wedding event on time.  I couldn't deal with yet another factor.  So, I got ready wearing my decorative blouse and my beige pyjama pants.  As I was getting my hair done, one of the other hair dressers said that my outfit looked beautiful.  My sister-in-law looked at me and I gave her the look of "these people are clueless".  I was embarrassed but apparently all it took was a short decorative blouse to look beautiful.  After I got my hair done, I had to wait in line to pay.  Yes, I was still not wearing my decorative skirt and I was still in my beige pyjamas.  Some of the women in line commented on how beautiful I looked.  Seriously?  I laughed in secret with my sister-in-law.  I said that only in this country will I get away with wearing my pyjama pants (practically underwear) in public and get compliments.  What is considered impolitic in this country?  I'm not going there.  The good news is that there weren't any other desi folks there.  Or I would have gotten stared down and who knows.  A picture of this may have made rounds in India with the tagline of how Indians go bad in America!  Oh well.  C'est la vie.  It all worked out at the end.  I got home to finish my make up and my sister-in-laws make up and rush back to the next event.  Had no time in between.  I guess compromises are made.  I just made some personal compromises and showed up in public in my underwear!

Best to you all,

TTR

Change

I remember a line from the play Inherit the Wind.  I can't quote exactly but it was basically something like this - It was you who has moved away, by standing still.  There is depth in its simplicity.  What an elegant way of talking about change and people?
So, I'm spending a weekend at my sister-in-law's place here in Oklahoma.  It has been 3 years since I have visited and apart from the few added pieces of decorative furniture and the renovation of the kitchen with new appliances (wear and tear maintenance) nothing much has changed.  Everything is orderly, like it has been planned for display.  A stark contrast to my home that is the ultimate symbol of disarray and disorder.
I think about change.  I haven't changed much in these past few years either.  Or have I?  While I held to the thought of constancy, relaxing at my sister-in-law's home doing nothing, she invited me to the television one evening.  Change. There it is.  My sister-in-law loves watching Pakistani dramas and Bollywood movies.  Myself on the other hand, have kind of moved on.  So, there I am being invited to watch a Bollywood movie with her.  My husband will tell you that I'm not much of a movie person.  I prefer to just chill and do nothing.  She invited me.  I guess she felt I would like it.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't want to really but it wasn't so bad.  She turned on the movie Dilwale.  She told me Shah Rukh Khan was in it.  The first sign of change within myself.  I wasn't super excited.  I was curious but not my old self.  My old self would have jumped up and asked if there were any other SRK movies I missed.  I used to be in love with the man.  Stardom got me.  I usually say that stars are humans too and we shouldn't "worship" them and yet I was falling to the fan craze of SRK.  That was my past.  I think, somewhere, I grew up.  SRK became intrigue but not desire.
So, I watched the movie.  The story line I felt was a bit weak.  It had its twists and turns but it was all contrived.  Was it contrived or was I just noticing it now that I was growing up and looking at SRK objectively?  I sat there and finished the movie.  I was more amazed at myself and how far I had come.  Somewhere, the Bollywood movies stood still and I had moved away.
My time in Oklahoma was very similar to my other times there.  My sister-in-law made me my favorite meals, had my favorite ice cream, Dove bar and it was just quiet and peaceful.  In those aspects, I guess I was still the same also.  I drank a lot of tea with my sister-in-law but I had been doing Teavana and other specialty teas that somewhere I noticed I had after all changed.
What's to say what change really is?  Maybe it's sitting for a couple of hours finishing up a page of my coloring book.  Something I have never done at Oklahoma before.  There's Pokemon Go also.  Interesting thing about the game.  There aren't many Poke Stops and it's feels very Pokemon unfriendly and yet the gyms are filled with players who have a mid 30s rating with 2.9K Dragonites.  Where are these players getting so strong?  Maybe there's a major Poke stop location for the gamers?  Like the zoo or the wild bird sanctuary of St. Louis?  So, last time I was in Oklahoma, there was no such thing as Pokemon Go and now their Poke gyms were stronger than our gyms here.  I cannot talk about change there.  Pokemon is a new thing.  Perhaps when I return, I can compare.
Then there's the L word.  Love.  My sister in law and my nieces did everything in their power to make me happy.  When it comes to family, there is a unit that cannot be penetrated.  Where their love is so tight, one can just watch with appreciation.  I saw that love between my nieces and between my sister-in-law and her children.  After all, why not?  There were the family and I was the observer trying to make my own memories with them to try to create a mark.  Had something changed?  Or had I changed and noticed more?  Or was it the change in the growth of the nieces?
I remember my first day of Dental School.  The only certainty in life is change.  I take solace in that.  Change is a wonderful thing.  After all, we are in the season that reminds one of that same change and renewal.
So, whether I have stayed still or moved away, I look back at change and I smile.  I feel in some strange way that I have come far.  Very far.  And I don't want to return.
Best to you all,
TTR