Most people who have known me would say I were an extrovert. So much so that I would say so myself. Why not? I love being with people and being at family parties and having a gala time. A year ago, I was tested. I did the Myers-Brigg. I had to answer a series of questions and then I had a trained MB coach to go over my results. I don't recall the other categories, but I clearly remember the E or the I. I was an introvert.
My coach asked me if I felt the results were accurate. I stated that the other categories seemed correct. I was convinced, however, that I was an extrovert and the results were wrong! She told me that the results are just a marker and that is why we had the interview to decide on whether I was what the test result came out to be.
She asked me why I felt I was an extrovert. I explained about how I loved to be around people and how loud I was and how I was the life of the parties with my family. Clearly, I was an extrovert and the results were wrong. She listened and told me that when people take the test, they fall on a scale. Say 1 - 10, where if they were say 7 and above, they would be an extrovert, 3 and below an introvert and a 3 to 7 would be a range where they could be either. It's the center of both. I'm just mentioning it for sake of explanation. Yes, there's a scale in MB but it's a range. It's not a definitive number like I talked about. She explained to me that I was not in the center range. She stated that I was very much preferentially an introvert. She said that based on the tests, I was not even close to being an extrovert.
That blew my mind and deflated my balloon at the same time, if it's possible. One, I was confused about the results. Two, deep down I have been told over and over that I was an extrovert, I identified with it. I felt like I did not want to be one of "those" people. Not one of those introverts! Being an introvert, was a bad thing in my book. Introverts are socially inept and are loners, or so I felt.
I continued to talk to her and she asked me not to freak out. We could discuss this further. She asked me more questions. I don't totally recall the questions she asked me but the way I understood it was totally different from what I had known. It all boiled down to energy. Where an introvert and an extrovert gets their energy? When asked what I preferred to do when I was very tired, I said, I would like to sit in silence and either read or write a book with a cup of tea. She said, "there you go! introvert!" Huh? She said it wasn't a person's ability to be with people that made someone an introvert or an extrovert, it's a matter of where one gets their energy. Is it from hanging out with a lot of people or is it from being with very few people?
I understand myself better now. I understand my frustration in meeting a lot of new people all at the same time. I understand my stress of having to perform like I'm an extrovert when I'm really an introvert. I understand why I dissect movies and stories and tend to be philosophical. I used to feel something was wrong with me. Friends would tell me to let the movie go. It was just a movie. No! It was more to me. I had to process it for long periods of time and there was nothing wrong with that.
Funny, recently I took up knitting. I sit at home and in the silence just knit. I do not have the TV on, I do not have music on. I just sit there and knit. As an extrovert I would have thought myself crazy. I'm embracing my introverted side and it's great to learn more about oneself. Haha! Why do I enjoy sitting here and blogging and would do it when I'm super tired? Introvert, for sure!
I know I haven't written in a while and now you guys are being inundated with blogs. It's just that I've been busy and my extrovert side was getting an exercise and now I'm taking a break from it. Back to being myself for a bit.
Best always,
TTR
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