A good friend of mine calls me to tell me how frustrated she is with a particular corporate dental company. A little background; dentists who own their own private practice are not big fans of the corporate model and so neither am I! I hear her frustration and it's legitimate. I'm pressed for a deadline to write an editorial and told her to send me the information that she was disgruntled about. I thought I could write about this "issue" of corporate dentistry and as I was thinking about the flow of my editorial, it hit me.
The story is always better from the horse's mouth. I thought she would have a better take on the presentation of the editorial. I call my friend and tell her that my deadline was coming up for the editorial, but I felt she would be better suited to write a guest editorial for me. She said, yes. She said it'll train her to take over my job soon anyways. I asked her what job? She said, being the editor!
More background for you folks. I'm the editor for the magazine on the city level. I had applied to be editor for the magazine on the state level. I was quite slated to get the position. I was requested to apply several times. I declined because I felt obligated to my little city publication. The thing is this. After my editorship, our publication won a couple of awards and we have upped the level of the publication that it competes with a lot of the state level publications. I felt attached to this one. I couldn't leave it and I couldn't be editor to both.
As I had talked to my friend about it, she suggested I apply for the state level. If I got in, she would take over my editorship on the city level and the publication would be fine and I could still help her with it. Long story short, I didn't get the position and I'm not here to talk about that, but it was a couple of years ago. So, when my friend said she was going to take over my job, I was surprised. I reminded her that I didn't get the state editorship. She said, ya I know that, but when they realize they made a huge mistake, they'll want you back and then I'll take over this publication! "Ya right!" I said. "They're not going to do that!" and that was that.
The interesting thing about this conversation for me is two fold. One, I have friends ready to step up to the plate for me. Second, I have friends who believe I am destined for "bigger" things. I have friends and to me that's one of the biggest blessings of all! The state can keep their publication the way they want it. I'm not backing down. I will keep edging our publication forward. They can copy my ideas and pass it off as their own and follow suit. As my managing editor said when one of their issues looked almost exactly like mine, "I guess it's the best form of flattery!"
That's it for now folks,
Best always,
TTR
Thursday, June 11, 2015
Saturday, June 6, 2015
May God bless you!
This post has been sitting in my drafts for over a couple of months now. I just re-read it. I think at that time I had reservations about posting it. I know I don't mention names or anything. Honestly, I can't even track the name down anymore because I don't remember the date of this draft. I came here to delete it, but I wanted to read it one last time. Well, I like it so I'm taking a chance and posting it! Some details are a bit confusing on the read, but you will get the message. Have fun!
This post is a long time coming, and I'm trying to organize my thoughts. What is this post about? Religion? Business? Dentistry? In truth, it's all of the above. Perhaps I should just state my two stories and let you be the judge? Interesting, another "two story" occurrence.
Story one. The story that really prompted this blog started on a Friday afternoon. I was at the cleft lip/palate clinic and wasn't expecting any calls or texts, except from my mother, because those are random. The text tone on my phone goes off and I assumed it was my mother and I looked to see what she wanted but it was from a number I did not recognize. "Interesting," I thought and opened the message. The message started with "AssalamuAlaikum sister!" and I rolled my eyes. Great! A religious sermon from someone wanting money! It wasn't that though. I continued to read and it was basically a message stating that he had a daughter in pain caused by her teeth and he would like her treated ASAP before his insurance ended in 10 days. Of course, the text ended with a "May Allah bless you" etc etc etc.
Couple of things, I am a dentist and I treat patients with respect, honesty and dignity not because it is required of my religion. I do it because it is the right thing to do. Period. I would do it irrespective of being a Muslim! I personally do not like bringing "religion" into treatment.
Back to this situation. I had a major constraint. All my appointments were fully booked for the next 2 weeks. At the back of my mind I did feel, "a delay on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine!" but the child was in pain. I could have turned down helping them as they were not patients of mine. However, the text felt very "beggy". Please help us! May God bless you for your help! We'll pray for you! Can we milk this anymore?
I replied professionally that I would love to help them but I would have to look at my schedule when I got into the office and if I had an availability, I would fit them in. Another text. May God bless you etc etc. That was Friday.
Sunday night rolls around and I get a call from a father of another patient of mine. A Muslim. Although he wasn't pulling the religion card on me, he was introducing this other patient (the one who called me on Friday), and he was pulling the "Call Dr. **. She'll take care of you," card. She'll take care of you? I'm a miracle worker now? When someone believes you are magical, you strangely feel the need to pull a rabbit out of your hat. So, the patient who called me was basically requesting that I see this other Muslim brother's daughter (the one who texted me on Friday) as she was in pain. He was hoping I could help them and he had basically told that other patient that I was the right person in this situation. If anyone would help, it would be Dr. Me! I explained to him that I would do my best. I explained that I was pretty booked up in my schedule but if I had an appointment to give, I would give it to them. I explained that the other patient had texted me earlier that week and I had told him the same. He said, "that's all I'm asking! If you can help them, help them!" There was the "May God bless you" at the end of that, but it was what it was.
I felt badly for the patient's parents. It felt like they were helpless and pulling at straws. Texting me, and now having someone else call me. I imagined that maybe this "emergency" just came up and they felt stranded with their insurance running out and they didn't know where to turn to. I decided to help them. It wasn't to receive the blessings of God. Like I said earlier, I thought the patient's parents must have felt desperate. I do have an emergency slot every day, slotted for my existing patients and I was working in my mind that I would give it to them, and if I had to, I would work through my lunch to help them out.
Funny thing is that I had a prior social commitment at lunch time and I had blocked out an extra half hour of my schedule, and I realized that I was being unfair to a visitor from out of the state but what could I do? I wanted to help this child. So, on Sunday night I picked up the phone and left a message for my front desk that they should look at our appointments for the next 10 days and hold any available spots for this patient. My staff usually come in sooner than I do.
Monday rolls around and I come into work. I finally get to glance at the schedule with my front desk. The next 10 days were booked solid. We did have the half hour slot that I had blocked for my social commitment, there was a reschedule and long story short we moved patients around also. We had to call a couple of our patients and request they move to help us accommodate the emergency and patients were wonderful about it and it was great. We opened a 11pm slot for 2 days in a row. Those were the only availability or wiggle room I had.
So, it's still Monday and my front desk calls the patient and tells them that we had to move patients around, but we have a 11am slot for them. Now the rest of this conversation was told to me by my front desk. Apparently, the patient stated that he couldn't do 11am and wanted to come later. My front desk stated again that we moved patients around to help accommodate them and 11am was the only spot we could manage. Apparently this went on for a while where the patient's father kept stating he had a meeting with his professor or something like that. He stated he would come 30 minutes later. My front desk came to me and asked me what I wanted to do. I couldn't believe it. If it was such a huge emergency, they would have come when we gave them an appointment. It was hard enough to extract an appointment and now they were doing this dance like I had my entire schedule open and what I was doing for them was really nothing. It was just required! I was not happy. So, I said to my front desk in no uncertain terms that if they weren't there by 11:15am, I would leave the office for my social commitment and lunch break and I did not want to deal with this anymore. After going through all that, I couldn't believe it.
I was very surprised. The patient showed up at 10:50am. Yes. On time. Early, but they had paper work to fill out. So, I finally get to do an exam and looked at all the teeth. I don't think we were able to get X rays. Communication was an issue. The child did not speak English and dad was in the room trying to translate for us. That adds its own dimension of complication in communication and treatment of the child but anyway the child had 2 lower molars that had large decay and she's been complaining of pain. She had other cavities also.
Based on everything, I suggested we can finish all her work in 2 days. I usually do not do treatment the same day I meet a child. I like them to get comfortable with me first and choose the first appointment to be easy and a way for the child to build trust. However, this was different. So, I talked to the father and stated that we could do half her mouth that day and the other half the next day. We had after all planned for this and moved patients around for it.
The next step of course, is the finance of all of this. Although they were in network with the insurance, every insurance is different. My front desk gal went to work and called the insurance company and found out exact out of pocket costs. This is when things get fun. I explained everything to the dad and he stated, "but the other dentist said it would all be covered". What other dentist?
Apparently, they had gone to another dentist a month ago and according to dad, all treatment would have been covered. I don't recall why he didn't go back to the other dentist or why he was coming to me in the first place. I stated to dad that I could only tell him what our costs are based on what his insurance company told us and we are in network with this insurance company.
Dad says that he'll think about it. I said OK. That day was crazy. We had another emergency patient waiting in the reception area. So, I told dad that he could think about it while I helped the next emergency kiddo. I got the next kiddo done. It didn't take long. I come back to the father in the waiting room and stated that we could start seeing his daughter now.
He started a totally different dialogue with me. What if she doesn't do well? What if she cries? Of course, I explained about treatment and about how children don't really understand why we do what we do and how it's important to get her out of pain. She may be anxious but we did not want her to continue to be in pain. Dad says, "let me think about it." By now, I was looking at my watch. I was already into my lunch hour. If dad wanted me to do treatment, I would still have done it. You guessed right. He said, he needed to think about it some more. He didn't think he would have to pay anything. He would let us know if he could come the next day. He did thank me for seeing him and thanked me for my time, but I have not seen him or his child since.
My thoughts. I'm going to be blunt here. What is your child's well being worth to you? That's what I think. I get it. There's a cost for dental treatment. I run a business. This story might be different if the child was not in pain. I don't know. Am I supposed to hand out free treatment because someone is a Muslim? I don't know. I've met parents who just wanted what was best for their child. Period. I've met parents who after I've given them permission to delay my payment, refused to leave the office until they got someone to give me a credit card number because they felt that it was right to pay me immediately after doing the treatment. I've met parents who questioned everything. I've even met a parent who told me that I was wrong because insurance didn't cover something and insurance companies knew better.
Now, back to the situation above. After all that effort, and moving patients and the texts/phone call over the weekend and to my front desk on the Monday, how should I have reacted? The TTR I know would be livid, but strangely I was very serene and at peace with the whole thing. I wished what was best for the child and I hope they were able to get the care somewhere. I don't know if I've become hardened with experience. I feel exceptionally well for offering above and beyond and I think internally I'm very happy because I'm applauding myself for doing the right thing. And yes, I would do it again! I know I was being manipulated. I know God was being thrown in the mix. The final result was no treatment. Their insurance coverage probably already has ended and what is left to say. Nothing.
The second story? This post is long as it is. Perhaps I'll write a part 2 with the second story some other time. So, I'll leave you here for now.
Best wishes,
TTR
This post is a long time coming, and I'm trying to organize my thoughts. What is this post about? Religion? Business? Dentistry? In truth, it's all of the above. Perhaps I should just state my two stories and let you be the judge? Interesting, another "two story" occurrence.
Story one. The story that really prompted this blog started on a Friday afternoon. I was at the cleft lip/palate clinic and wasn't expecting any calls or texts, except from my mother, because those are random. The text tone on my phone goes off and I assumed it was my mother and I looked to see what she wanted but it was from a number I did not recognize. "Interesting," I thought and opened the message. The message started with "AssalamuAlaikum sister!" and I rolled my eyes. Great! A religious sermon from someone wanting money! It wasn't that though. I continued to read and it was basically a message stating that he had a daughter in pain caused by her teeth and he would like her treated ASAP before his insurance ended in 10 days. Of course, the text ended with a "May Allah bless you" etc etc etc.
Couple of things, I am a dentist and I treat patients with respect, honesty and dignity not because it is required of my religion. I do it because it is the right thing to do. Period. I would do it irrespective of being a Muslim! I personally do not like bringing "religion" into treatment.
Back to this situation. I had a major constraint. All my appointments were fully booked for the next 2 weeks. At the back of my mind I did feel, "a delay on your part, does not constitute an emergency on mine!" but the child was in pain. I could have turned down helping them as they were not patients of mine. However, the text felt very "beggy". Please help us! May God bless you for your help! We'll pray for you! Can we milk this anymore?
I replied professionally that I would love to help them but I would have to look at my schedule when I got into the office and if I had an availability, I would fit them in. Another text. May God bless you etc etc. That was Friday.
Sunday night rolls around and I get a call from a father of another patient of mine. A Muslim. Although he wasn't pulling the religion card on me, he was introducing this other patient (the one who called me on Friday), and he was pulling the "Call Dr. **. She'll take care of you," card. She'll take care of you? I'm a miracle worker now? When someone believes you are magical, you strangely feel the need to pull a rabbit out of your hat. So, the patient who called me was basically requesting that I see this other Muslim brother's daughter (the one who texted me on Friday) as she was in pain. He was hoping I could help them and he had basically told that other patient that I was the right person in this situation. If anyone would help, it would be Dr. Me! I explained to him that I would do my best. I explained that I was pretty booked up in my schedule but if I had an appointment to give, I would give it to them. I explained that the other patient had texted me earlier that week and I had told him the same. He said, "that's all I'm asking! If you can help them, help them!" There was the "May God bless you" at the end of that, but it was what it was.
I felt badly for the patient's parents. It felt like they were helpless and pulling at straws. Texting me, and now having someone else call me. I imagined that maybe this "emergency" just came up and they felt stranded with their insurance running out and they didn't know where to turn to. I decided to help them. It wasn't to receive the blessings of God. Like I said earlier, I thought the patient's parents must have felt desperate. I do have an emergency slot every day, slotted for my existing patients and I was working in my mind that I would give it to them, and if I had to, I would work through my lunch to help them out.
Funny thing is that I had a prior social commitment at lunch time and I had blocked out an extra half hour of my schedule, and I realized that I was being unfair to a visitor from out of the state but what could I do? I wanted to help this child. So, on Sunday night I picked up the phone and left a message for my front desk that they should look at our appointments for the next 10 days and hold any available spots for this patient. My staff usually come in sooner than I do.
Monday rolls around and I come into work. I finally get to glance at the schedule with my front desk. The next 10 days were booked solid. We did have the half hour slot that I had blocked for my social commitment, there was a reschedule and long story short we moved patients around also. We had to call a couple of our patients and request they move to help us accommodate the emergency and patients were wonderful about it and it was great. We opened a 11pm slot for 2 days in a row. Those were the only availability or wiggle room I had.
So, it's still Monday and my front desk calls the patient and tells them that we had to move patients around, but we have a 11am slot for them. Now the rest of this conversation was told to me by my front desk. Apparently, the patient stated that he couldn't do 11am and wanted to come later. My front desk stated again that we moved patients around to help accommodate them and 11am was the only spot we could manage. Apparently this went on for a while where the patient's father kept stating he had a meeting with his professor or something like that. He stated he would come 30 minutes later. My front desk came to me and asked me what I wanted to do. I couldn't believe it. If it was such a huge emergency, they would have come when we gave them an appointment. It was hard enough to extract an appointment and now they were doing this dance like I had my entire schedule open and what I was doing for them was really nothing. It was just required! I was not happy. So, I said to my front desk in no uncertain terms that if they weren't there by 11:15am, I would leave the office for my social commitment and lunch break and I did not want to deal with this anymore. After going through all that, I couldn't believe it.
I was very surprised. The patient showed up at 10:50am. Yes. On time. Early, but they had paper work to fill out. So, I finally get to do an exam and looked at all the teeth. I don't think we were able to get X rays. Communication was an issue. The child did not speak English and dad was in the room trying to translate for us. That adds its own dimension of complication in communication and treatment of the child but anyway the child had 2 lower molars that had large decay and she's been complaining of pain. She had other cavities also.
Based on everything, I suggested we can finish all her work in 2 days. I usually do not do treatment the same day I meet a child. I like them to get comfortable with me first and choose the first appointment to be easy and a way for the child to build trust. However, this was different. So, I talked to the father and stated that we could do half her mouth that day and the other half the next day. We had after all planned for this and moved patients around for it.
The next step of course, is the finance of all of this. Although they were in network with the insurance, every insurance is different. My front desk gal went to work and called the insurance company and found out exact out of pocket costs. This is when things get fun. I explained everything to the dad and he stated, "but the other dentist said it would all be covered". What other dentist?
Apparently, they had gone to another dentist a month ago and according to dad, all treatment would have been covered. I don't recall why he didn't go back to the other dentist or why he was coming to me in the first place. I stated to dad that I could only tell him what our costs are based on what his insurance company told us and we are in network with this insurance company.
Dad says that he'll think about it. I said OK. That day was crazy. We had another emergency patient waiting in the reception area. So, I told dad that he could think about it while I helped the next emergency kiddo. I got the next kiddo done. It didn't take long. I come back to the father in the waiting room and stated that we could start seeing his daughter now.
He started a totally different dialogue with me. What if she doesn't do well? What if she cries? Of course, I explained about treatment and about how children don't really understand why we do what we do and how it's important to get her out of pain. She may be anxious but we did not want her to continue to be in pain. Dad says, "let me think about it." By now, I was looking at my watch. I was already into my lunch hour. If dad wanted me to do treatment, I would still have done it. You guessed right. He said, he needed to think about it some more. He didn't think he would have to pay anything. He would let us know if he could come the next day. He did thank me for seeing him and thanked me for my time, but I have not seen him or his child since.
My thoughts. I'm going to be blunt here. What is your child's well being worth to you? That's what I think. I get it. There's a cost for dental treatment. I run a business. This story might be different if the child was not in pain. I don't know. Am I supposed to hand out free treatment because someone is a Muslim? I don't know. I've met parents who just wanted what was best for their child. Period. I've met parents who after I've given them permission to delay my payment, refused to leave the office until they got someone to give me a credit card number because they felt that it was right to pay me immediately after doing the treatment. I've met parents who questioned everything. I've even met a parent who told me that I was wrong because insurance didn't cover something and insurance companies knew better.
Now, back to the situation above. After all that effort, and moving patients and the texts/phone call over the weekend and to my front desk on the Monday, how should I have reacted? The TTR I know would be livid, but strangely I was very serene and at peace with the whole thing. I wished what was best for the child and I hope they were able to get the care somewhere. I don't know if I've become hardened with experience. I feel exceptionally well for offering above and beyond and I think internally I'm very happy because I'm applauding myself for doing the right thing. And yes, I would do it again! I know I was being manipulated. I know God was being thrown in the mix. The final result was no treatment. Their insurance coverage probably already has ended and what is left to say. Nothing.
The second story? This post is long as it is. Perhaps I'll write a part 2 with the second story some other time. So, I'll leave you here for now.
Best wishes,
TTR
Sunday, May 31, 2015
In memory of an acquaintance.
I've been in the thespian community for a few years now and while I act and direct or help out with sets, I generally stick to myself or people I know. Is that the introvert in me? I don't know. The truth is that I am shy. I will reach out when it's needed, but mostly, I just do my thing.
Funny! I met my husband that way. I met him through learning to write a play, but this story is not about him. It's about the man who was sitting with him the day I met my husband. While I was flirting with Brad, the president of the theatre company, in hopes of getting a part, I totally ignored the man who was sitting with him, Jim the producer of the show.
I even ignored Jim the first few Mondays I went to Big Daddy's for a reading. I would go straight to the one man I knew Brad, my future husband (didn't know that then) and say hello. I might have said hello to Brad's son too, but I don't know. One Monday, Jim made me know who he was. After I said my usual hello to the couple of persons I knew, I sat down. Jim came up to me and said, "What? Am I chopped liver or something?" I was taken aback. I back tracked. He was right. I hadn't say hello to him. After that day, I never missed saying hello to Jim again.
As I spent more time with Brad, I would see Jim there. It was a Brad/Jim combination that had kept the theatre going all these year. I didn't know Jim very well then, but over time, I got more comfortable talking to him. I would be there for Brad and help out and Jim would always thank me. Eventually, with Jim, I took the liberty of offering advice about the theatre company.
One day, Jim offered me a position on the board of the theatre company. I looked at Brad who was working at something in a distance. Jim noticed my glance and said, "If you are thinking about what Brad would say, don't worry about him. I'll deal with him. I'm asking you to join!" I declined. I thought it was too much. Yes, it was a big mistake on my part. Until today, it's been a huge regret of mine. I later joined the board, more in memory and honor of a man who respected me enough to ask me to join, but I wish I would have served on the board when Jim was around. I was never on the board when Jim was alive, and I don't know what it would have been like. I do often feel his presence at the meetings. I had often joked to Jim about not joining the board and stating that I was the invisible board member. "I'm there Jim! You just can't see me," I would say. Well, Jim is the invisible board member now and he's watching on the sidelines.
It is a great honor for me that Jim saw the first play I directed and was very happy with the results. After the show, he pretty much gave me his blessings to direct a full length. It was those times that I was getting to know Jim better. I was getting to know how much time and effort he put into the theatre and just when I felt like I wanted to work with him some more, he took ill. I saw him on his death bed, the day before he died. He couldn't talk, but he very clearly nodded his head when I asked him to give me permission to direct a full length play. See, the theatre company was going through changes and without Jim to defend me, I wasn't going to be given a full length play. Jim in the presence of my husband was using his last bits of energy to nod and tell Brad that I needed my play.
I'm in the middle of rehearsing actors for my first full length and I miss Jim terribly. The thing is that Jim wasn't my best friend. I don't even think he was a friend. We were acquaintances. We spoke when we were at the theater but nothing major. The usual hi, how are you and bye, or I would talk shop with him, but nothing more. Today, I look back and see how much he was the wind beneath the wings of this theatre company; my husband too, but without Jim, we have taken a major hit.
I guess we don't consciously think about death everyday or think about seeing someone one last time. We may think about our families, but not anyone else. We don't know what they mean to us, if they mean anything at all, and then when they are gone, you realize what they brought to the table. Gosh Jim. I still miss you. Wish you could take a break from heaven and stop by and watch my first play. Would be nice!
Funny! I met my husband that way. I met him through learning to write a play, but this story is not about him. It's about the man who was sitting with him the day I met my husband. While I was flirting with Brad, the president of the theatre company, in hopes of getting a part, I totally ignored the man who was sitting with him, Jim the producer of the show.
I even ignored Jim the first few Mondays I went to Big Daddy's for a reading. I would go straight to the one man I knew Brad, my future husband (didn't know that then) and say hello. I might have said hello to Brad's son too, but I don't know. One Monday, Jim made me know who he was. After I said my usual hello to the couple of persons I knew, I sat down. Jim came up to me and said, "What? Am I chopped liver or something?" I was taken aback. I back tracked. He was right. I hadn't say hello to him. After that day, I never missed saying hello to Jim again.
As I spent more time with Brad, I would see Jim there. It was a Brad/Jim combination that had kept the theatre going all these year. I didn't know Jim very well then, but over time, I got more comfortable talking to him. I would be there for Brad and help out and Jim would always thank me. Eventually, with Jim, I took the liberty of offering advice about the theatre company.
One day, Jim offered me a position on the board of the theatre company. I looked at Brad who was working at something in a distance. Jim noticed my glance and said, "If you are thinking about what Brad would say, don't worry about him. I'll deal with him. I'm asking you to join!" I declined. I thought it was too much. Yes, it was a big mistake on my part. Until today, it's been a huge regret of mine. I later joined the board, more in memory and honor of a man who respected me enough to ask me to join, but I wish I would have served on the board when Jim was around. I was never on the board when Jim was alive, and I don't know what it would have been like. I do often feel his presence at the meetings. I had often joked to Jim about not joining the board and stating that I was the invisible board member. "I'm there Jim! You just can't see me," I would say. Well, Jim is the invisible board member now and he's watching on the sidelines.
It is a great honor for me that Jim saw the first play I directed and was very happy with the results. After the show, he pretty much gave me his blessings to direct a full length. It was those times that I was getting to know Jim better. I was getting to know how much time and effort he put into the theatre and just when I felt like I wanted to work with him some more, he took ill. I saw him on his death bed, the day before he died. He couldn't talk, but he very clearly nodded his head when I asked him to give me permission to direct a full length play. See, the theatre company was going through changes and without Jim to defend me, I wasn't going to be given a full length play. Jim in the presence of my husband was using his last bits of energy to nod and tell Brad that I needed my play.
I'm in the middle of rehearsing actors for my first full length and I miss Jim terribly. The thing is that Jim wasn't my best friend. I don't even think he was a friend. We were acquaintances. We spoke when we were at the theater but nothing major. The usual hi, how are you and bye, or I would talk shop with him, but nothing more. Today, I look back and see how much he was the wind beneath the wings of this theatre company; my husband too, but without Jim, we have taken a major hit.
I guess we don't consciously think about death everyday or think about seeing someone one last time. We may think about our families, but not anyone else. We don't know what they mean to us, if they mean anything at all, and then when they are gone, you realize what they brought to the table. Gosh Jim. I still miss you. Wish you could take a break from heaven and stop by and watch my first play. Would be nice!
Geekway to the West
Hi all,
I haven't been MIA. I have been busy. It's been a week since I returned from Seattle and there's things I can blog about that, but here's a post that has been long overdue. The weekend before I left for Seattle, I attended my first "Geekway to the West". It's a board game convention!
The story really started early this year when I was in casual conversation with a patient's parent about board games and how much I enjoyed it. She talked about being a gamer, but she liked video games. As we talked, she told me that there was, however, a board game convention in St. Louis. She wasn't sure about it. "A friend of mine went and she liked it! That's all I know." The other piece of information I got was the possible name. She asked me to google "geekway to the west" but she wasn't sure if that's what it was called. She said it would be close enough. The joke in the office switched to myself not showing up for work or calling in sick with some lame excuse when I really was playing games at this conference. We all laughed at my craziness and I walked away. The next thing I did in my office, before checking on patients was to stop by my computer. Ah! Google! Thou art a true friend.
Geekway to the West showed up and I was looking at the website. Pre-registration was open for $35. I didn't want to go alone. I loved board games, but did I love it enough to go to a conference? I wasn't sure. This looked serious. I called my friends. "Hey! So, there's this conference for board games. Uhm. What do you think?" Of course, they were all busy and had other things to do than go and play games. One of my friends wanted me to go as a guinea pig. If I liked it, she would join next year. Others checked their schedule and said they would think about it. The thing is that pre-registration was going to close in a couple of weeks and registration would be $45. Walk-ins was $50 and everyone pretty much decided that they couldn't make a decision for pre-registration or even registration. "We'll do the walk-ins if we have to," is what I got.
I told my husband that he's going with me. LOL. No. He's not a big fan of board games, but he is a big fan of me, so he obliged. I pre-registered for 2. As luck would have it, registration got sold out. They capped at 1300 people and so walk ins were not allowed either. My brother was going to come into town for the conference. I told him that the walk-ins were sold out, but he could use my husband's badge and come. After all, my husband wasn't too interested.
The conference opened on Thursday. I was at work and was supposed to get off by 1pm. Long story short, it was a horrible day at work and I got off at 3pm. I was exhausted. I was going to throw in the hat. Who cares about some stupid board game convention, I thought. I'll go later. As I thought about it, I changed my mind. I was not going to let a bad day ruin the rest of my evening. So, as tired and frustrated as I was, I went. I got confused about the location. I knew it was at the Sheraton Chalet, but at the last minute I talked myself into believing it was at the Sheraton which was walking distance from the Chalet. So, that took a while and I finally ended up at the conference and registered. I told the person at registration that I had a rough day at work and I had no idea what I was doing there. This was my first time at a game conference and I was alone. He looked at me and said, "Well! You forget about your bad day now and you just play games." "Games? But what do I do?" I really didn't know how it all worked. He suggested I go to the "play and win" room and just find someone to play with. I look back at that and it's funny. A simple task - find someone to play with, seemed gigantic to me until I walked in there. I found someone to play with immediately. We picked a game neither of us had played - Viticulture. We found a teacher to help us learn the game and I had a lot of fun.
The next day, Friday, I got there at 9:30am and stayed until I had to leave at 7pm to go pick my brother up from the airport. By then I had played Viticulture, again. I played 5 Tribes. I played an army game I can't recall, Resistance, and The Game of 49. Saturday, I went with my husband in the morning and I took my brother in the afternoon. Sunday, I left for Seattle with my brother taking our badges and waiting to see if I won any of the games we played in the "Play and Win". My brother texted me that we did not win anything.
It's funny. It's a world of board games I would not have discovered. So many. I was told by a friend before I went that people may be aggressive. I didn't encounter any of that. I encountered like minded people who just loved to play board games for the fun of playing. Of course, we all wanted to win, but we weren't going to be aggressive and yell. We just played a fair game and it was a fair fight to win.
I got a text from my brother when I was in Seattle. "Forget medical conferences. Let's just go to board game conferences from now on!" Hahaha! Yes, I would say he loved it too.
I haven't been MIA. I have been busy. It's been a week since I returned from Seattle and there's things I can blog about that, but here's a post that has been long overdue. The weekend before I left for Seattle, I attended my first "Geekway to the West". It's a board game convention!
The story really started early this year when I was in casual conversation with a patient's parent about board games and how much I enjoyed it. She talked about being a gamer, but she liked video games. As we talked, she told me that there was, however, a board game convention in St. Louis. She wasn't sure about it. "A friend of mine went and she liked it! That's all I know." The other piece of information I got was the possible name. She asked me to google "geekway to the west" but she wasn't sure if that's what it was called. She said it would be close enough. The joke in the office switched to myself not showing up for work or calling in sick with some lame excuse when I really was playing games at this conference. We all laughed at my craziness and I walked away. The next thing I did in my office, before checking on patients was to stop by my computer. Ah! Google! Thou art a true friend.
Geekway to the West showed up and I was looking at the website. Pre-registration was open for $35. I didn't want to go alone. I loved board games, but did I love it enough to go to a conference? I wasn't sure. This looked serious. I called my friends. "Hey! So, there's this conference for board games. Uhm. What do you think?" Of course, they were all busy and had other things to do than go and play games. One of my friends wanted me to go as a guinea pig. If I liked it, she would join next year. Others checked their schedule and said they would think about it. The thing is that pre-registration was going to close in a couple of weeks and registration would be $45. Walk-ins was $50 and everyone pretty much decided that they couldn't make a decision for pre-registration or even registration. "We'll do the walk-ins if we have to," is what I got.
I told my husband that he's going with me. LOL. No. He's not a big fan of board games, but he is a big fan of me, so he obliged. I pre-registered for 2. As luck would have it, registration got sold out. They capped at 1300 people and so walk ins were not allowed either. My brother was going to come into town for the conference. I told him that the walk-ins were sold out, but he could use my husband's badge and come. After all, my husband wasn't too interested.
The conference opened on Thursday. I was at work and was supposed to get off by 1pm. Long story short, it was a horrible day at work and I got off at 3pm. I was exhausted. I was going to throw in the hat. Who cares about some stupid board game convention, I thought. I'll go later. As I thought about it, I changed my mind. I was not going to let a bad day ruin the rest of my evening. So, as tired and frustrated as I was, I went. I got confused about the location. I knew it was at the Sheraton Chalet, but at the last minute I talked myself into believing it was at the Sheraton which was walking distance from the Chalet. So, that took a while and I finally ended up at the conference and registered. I told the person at registration that I had a rough day at work and I had no idea what I was doing there. This was my first time at a game conference and I was alone. He looked at me and said, "Well! You forget about your bad day now and you just play games." "Games? But what do I do?" I really didn't know how it all worked. He suggested I go to the "play and win" room and just find someone to play with. I look back at that and it's funny. A simple task - find someone to play with, seemed gigantic to me until I walked in there. I found someone to play with immediately. We picked a game neither of us had played - Viticulture. We found a teacher to help us learn the game and I had a lot of fun.
The next day, Friday, I got there at 9:30am and stayed until I had to leave at 7pm to go pick my brother up from the airport. By then I had played Viticulture, again. I played 5 Tribes. I played an army game I can't recall, Resistance, and The Game of 49. Saturday, I went with my husband in the morning and I took my brother in the afternoon. Sunday, I left for Seattle with my brother taking our badges and waiting to see if I won any of the games we played in the "Play and Win". My brother texted me that we did not win anything.
It's funny. It's a world of board games I would not have discovered. So many. I was told by a friend before I went that people may be aggressive. I didn't encounter any of that. I encountered like minded people who just loved to play board games for the fun of playing. Of course, we all wanted to win, but we weren't going to be aggressive and yell. We just played a fair game and it was a fair fight to win.
I got a text from my brother when I was in Seattle. "Forget medical conferences. Let's just go to board game conferences from now on!" Hahaha! Yes, I would say he loved it too.
Monday, May 11, 2015
Candy Crush Alarm
As a lot of you know, I'm a Candy Crush player. I've been called an addict. If I were an addict I would replay all the levels to either get my Candy Crush high or to just satisfy my craving. I beat the board again. A second time. Last time I beat the board, I had a day of no Candy Crush and they added new levels. This time, I'm afraid the wait will be for a few more weeks. I play Candy Crush primarily when I wake and also when I go to bed.
Candy Crush helps me especially when I wake up because as I'm barely able to process information I throw colored candies and combinations to my brain and before I know it, my brain can process other stuff too. This morning I woke up and realized that I had beat the board and there's no more brain processing to throw at it. One could argue that I could have played an earlier level to help me wake up but that's the thing though. It can get boring. I only played to finish the levels. I don't know why, but I feel like I have embarked on this journey and might as well finish it. Besides, I don't play any other "games" on my phone so this is my only clutch. Towards the end, I was just going through the motions. I knew how to defeat the board, I just needed the candies to do it and it all depended on programming of the game when it was going to let me through.
Now that I'm out, I don't really want to play the old levels. There's no point for me. Go ahead and beat my score. See if I care! Should I get a new game to wake me up? Do I need a new addiction? I do not know. Perhaps, I can just use this as an experiment and see how I do. Today was a miserable fail with waking up and being at work on time. Thank God I'm the boss. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Don't feel sorry for my pathetic Candy Crush self. It's just something stupid I do. We all have our little idiosyncrasies and this would be mine. I know this is not a thought provoking blog, but it's just a light reading cheesy fun type blog. I'm trying to mix it all up.
TTR
Candy Crush helps me especially when I wake up because as I'm barely able to process information I throw colored candies and combinations to my brain and before I know it, my brain can process other stuff too. This morning I woke up and realized that I had beat the board and there's no more brain processing to throw at it. One could argue that I could have played an earlier level to help me wake up but that's the thing though. It can get boring. I only played to finish the levels. I don't know why, but I feel like I have embarked on this journey and might as well finish it. Besides, I don't play any other "games" on my phone so this is my only clutch. Towards the end, I was just going through the motions. I knew how to defeat the board, I just needed the candies to do it and it all depended on programming of the game when it was going to let me through.
Now that I'm out, I don't really want to play the old levels. There's no point for me. Go ahead and beat my score. See if I care! Should I get a new game to wake me up? Do I need a new addiction? I do not know. Perhaps, I can just use this as an experiment and see how I do. Today was a miserable fail with waking up and being at work on time. Thank God I'm the boss. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Don't feel sorry for my pathetic Candy Crush self. It's just something stupid I do. We all have our little idiosyncrasies and this would be mine. I know this is not a thought provoking blog, but it's just a light reading cheesy fun type blog. I'm trying to mix it all up.
TTR
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Religion just walked out the door
Here's the story. I'm sitting in a coffee shop with a friend. She tells me about her daughter in college. Her daughter has been questioned and challenged by her friends about why she believes and follows her faith. The topic invariably boils down to questioning faith in the light of science. The topic is about religion. Any religion. Why does someone believe in God or some other deity? Why believe in Adam and Eve, when you have the big bang theory? My friend and I talk about the climate of disbelief as both of us try to understand this new wave of distrust while we sip our coffees.
I'm Muslim so I can only speak for the Muslim religion (as well as I understand it), but I'm also a woman of faith and spirituality. It may really be the same thing, but interesting enough I'm also a pediatric dentist so I have quite a bit of science running through my veins. Yet, I sit there and wonder about why I believe. Every cell in my body believes in a higher power. I know there is an amazing Being out there who is far beyond our imaginations. I know this because I can feel Its power. I can feel It course through me. How do you explain a "feeling"?
A few years ago, I got introduced to the Secret and it changed my life. It connected me to my religion and to God and the Universe and when I read verses from the Qur'an, I feel part of the circle. I'm plugged in. I'm connected and all charged. Yet, I would not be able to explain how I feel. I cannot explain the peace that comes through such faith.
I would have to say to those who question me that love can only be felt. It's not something you hold in your hand. You could hold a diamond ring as a symbol of that love as you could hold a holy book, but you cannot hold love. You cannot see it. You can only feel it sweep through you.
Some people say all religions are bad. I guess the rituals bother them. I don't know. I guess they worry about dealing with crazy people, or it could be that the rituals do not make sense to them. I've had people ask me why I need to fast or pray? Why does anything have to be absolute and make sense? Why can't we just believe? I feel sometimes rituals can ground a person. It can be quite helpful. It also unifies. You identify with others who perform rituals although it's not your own. We all understand taking exams or tests. If we heard of someone in another part of the world studying for a test, we don't ask why s/he is studying or why the grade matters, we just understand. There are people who question an education and that's not the topic here. There will always be people who question and it's wonderful in that it opens dialogue. Sometimes, there's no real answer to faith, though.
I hear people talk about extremism and all religions have to deal with it. It's not the religion that is inherently bad. It's the people following it. It's people who behave in ways that twist a faith. I've heard the expression, "don't shoot the messenger", but what if the messenger opened the message and changed it to create discord in the world? That's the case with religion. You have few people creating havoc, taking passages out of context and you have the media having a field day out of it. In the early days of this nation, people said slavery was biblical! That's going out in left field again, but
I think we all believe differently. Sometimes people believe differently within the same faith. I feel we need to try to see and accept the other person's point of view as best we can. If we can't, we should move on, rather than throwing stones at it. We need to be above this climate of distrust. It's not always easy, but it's a step in the right direction to just accept people for who they are, irrespective of their religion. So, while religion just walked out the door for a lot of people, I only hope that perhaps acceptance walked in.
Best to you all,
TTR
I'm Muslim so I can only speak for the Muslim religion (as well as I understand it), but I'm also a woman of faith and spirituality. It may really be the same thing, but interesting enough I'm also a pediatric dentist so I have quite a bit of science running through my veins. Yet, I sit there and wonder about why I believe. Every cell in my body believes in a higher power. I know there is an amazing Being out there who is far beyond our imaginations. I know this because I can feel Its power. I can feel It course through me. How do you explain a "feeling"?
A few years ago, I got introduced to the Secret and it changed my life. It connected me to my religion and to God and the Universe and when I read verses from the Qur'an, I feel part of the circle. I'm plugged in. I'm connected and all charged. Yet, I would not be able to explain how I feel. I cannot explain the peace that comes through such faith.
I would have to say to those who question me that love can only be felt. It's not something you hold in your hand. You could hold a diamond ring as a symbol of that love as you could hold a holy book, but you cannot hold love. You cannot see it. You can only feel it sweep through you.
Some people say all religions are bad. I guess the rituals bother them. I don't know. I guess they worry about dealing with crazy people, or it could be that the rituals do not make sense to them. I've had people ask me why I need to fast or pray? Why does anything have to be absolute and make sense? Why can't we just believe? I feel sometimes rituals can ground a person. It can be quite helpful. It also unifies. You identify with others who perform rituals although it's not your own. We all understand taking exams or tests. If we heard of someone in another part of the world studying for a test, we don't ask why s/he is studying or why the grade matters, we just understand. There are people who question an education and that's not the topic here. There will always be people who question and it's wonderful in that it opens dialogue. Sometimes, there's no real answer to faith, though.
I hear people talk about extremism and all religions have to deal with it. It's not the religion that is inherently bad. It's the people following it. It's people who behave in ways that twist a faith. I've heard the expression, "don't shoot the messenger", but what if the messenger opened the message and changed it to create discord in the world? That's the case with religion. You have few people creating havoc, taking passages out of context and you have the media having a field day out of it. In the early days of this nation, people said slavery was biblical! That's going out in left field again, but
I think we all believe differently. Sometimes people believe differently within the same faith. I feel we need to try to see and accept the other person's point of view as best we can. If we can't, we should move on, rather than throwing stones at it. We need to be above this climate of distrust. It's not always easy, but it's a step in the right direction to just accept people for who they are, irrespective of their religion. So, while religion just walked out the door for a lot of people, I only hope that perhaps acceptance walked in.
Best to you all,
TTR
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
The Facebook challenge
I cannot believe I have come so far. I took a self-made Facebook challenge to stay away for a week. My week ended this past Sunday at 2pm, but I didn't realize I hit the mark until a couple of hours later. After that, I figured I had made it and I could log on anytime, but then I didn't. It felt strange. All the facts that motivated me to stay on Facebook and to check status' constantly were suddenly irrelevant.
I had always told myself that I was on Facebook for the great articles or for the motivational memes, but then I would find myself swimming in this sea of psychosis. The public forum of people bragging about themselves, or sharing too much, or too little or making irresponsible comments and the culture of likes and throwback Thursdays and basically the culture of being imprisoned by social media. In a culture of attention seeking individuals, somehow you get to the comparison of lives and who's better than who and who did what and the constant ego parade. Then you get into the smearing of people's happiness and sadness that you may not want to partake of constantly.
You see the anniversary posts that make you want to throw up and say "get a room!" The posts that basically go, "to my best friend, my lover, my wonderful soul mate who completes my life..." are you throwing up yet? "To my every thing, you have been wonderful and accepted me for who I am and for my faults, and I love you and we've had a great X number of years together and I can't wait for more and ... " I get it. Marriages are hard. Getting through the years is a celebration. Those heart wrenching speeches that you want to tell your spouse, should be told to your spouse and your spouse only. The world doesn't want to know and we could care less. The person who should get the message should get it in person from your own lips, not reading it through Facebook in such a public forum. Don't get me wrong. I was quite wrapped in it that I didn't know myself anymore. I couldn't understand self without understand Facebook and that is a very sad state of affairs. An illusion of friends that don't exist and throwing real friends in that same pool.
I haven't gone back yet. I plan to, but not like an everyday thing or an every moment thing. I'm still enjoying my time off and figuring out the new rules of returning. I need to define for myself the reasons I left and I need to address them adequately before returning. I also need to be honest about why I stayed for so long and what I truly did enjoy during that time. There is, of course, the X-ing of friends. Yes! That's going to be important for me. I'm thinking as I write this that I should make a list of friends that I need to de-face and move on. I use the word "friends" loosely. These are Facebook friends I'm thinking about deleting. We need to realize the difference between "friends" and "Facebook friends".
I once heard someone say that it doesn't matter unless it's on Facebook. I do understand the power of Facebook. I also understand its evils. With great power, comes great responsibility. My thought: Use Facebook responsibly!
Best wishes,
TTR
I had always told myself that I was on Facebook for the great articles or for the motivational memes, but then I would find myself swimming in this sea of psychosis. The public forum of people bragging about themselves, or sharing too much, or too little or making irresponsible comments and the culture of likes and throwback Thursdays and basically the culture of being imprisoned by social media. In a culture of attention seeking individuals, somehow you get to the comparison of lives and who's better than who and who did what and the constant ego parade. Then you get into the smearing of people's happiness and sadness that you may not want to partake of constantly.
You see the anniversary posts that make you want to throw up and say "get a room!" The posts that basically go, "to my best friend, my lover, my wonderful soul mate who completes my life..." are you throwing up yet? "To my every thing, you have been wonderful and accepted me for who I am and for my faults, and I love you and we've had a great X number of years together and I can't wait for more and ... " I get it. Marriages are hard. Getting through the years is a celebration. Those heart wrenching speeches that you want to tell your spouse, should be told to your spouse and your spouse only. The world doesn't want to know and we could care less. The person who should get the message should get it in person from your own lips, not reading it through Facebook in such a public forum. Don't get me wrong. I was quite wrapped in it that I didn't know myself anymore. I couldn't understand self without understand Facebook and that is a very sad state of affairs. An illusion of friends that don't exist and throwing real friends in that same pool.
I haven't gone back yet. I plan to, but not like an everyday thing or an every moment thing. I'm still enjoying my time off and figuring out the new rules of returning. I need to define for myself the reasons I left and I need to address them adequately before returning. I also need to be honest about why I stayed for so long and what I truly did enjoy during that time. There is, of course, the X-ing of friends. Yes! That's going to be important for me. I'm thinking as I write this that I should make a list of friends that I need to de-face and move on. I use the word "friends" loosely. These are Facebook friends I'm thinking about deleting. We need to realize the difference between "friends" and "Facebook friends".
I once heard someone say that it doesn't matter unless it's on Facebook. I do understand the power of Facebook. I also understand its evils. With great power, comes great responsibility. My thought: Use Facebook responsibly!
Best wishes,
TTR
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